I'm often confronted with death
The subject
The experience as told by others
Tears, depression, loss.
And I'm effected more deeply than a listener should be.
I read a story by someone I don't know about someone's death I don't know.
I listen to a woman I don't know remind people I don't know about her husbands death I never knew about.
One of my students whom I just met tells me of a family member I never knew and how he died.
How do I react?
Tears, depression, loss.
Sometimes the tears don't come, I just drop whatever is in my hands
Sit in a fetal position
Stand and pace
Pace back
Lean against a wall
Scrunch up my face
My eyebrows tight
My lips pursed.
I'm confused and lost and alone.
How am I to react when I hear of death?
However far or near I am to the experience, I still recognize loss.
The people of Bali require balance in their lives.
When they meet you on the street they ask you two things:
Where are you going?
Are you married?
Knowing humans places in this world is important to my balance.
When someone dies, I'm left unbalanced.
Perhaps I must follow the knowledge of death
With the experience of birth.
Perhaps this will ease the struggle with loss.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
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